


Filthy Frostiron: A Poetry Collection

by midgardian_leviosa



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bad Poetry, M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-13 06:31:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20169712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midgardian_leviosa/pseuds/midgardian_leviosa
Summary: It's poetry. It's about Tony and Loki. It's wildly inappropriate. Saddle up for a hilarious, rhyming romp with our boys.





	Filthy Frostiron: A Poetry Collection

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Switchknitter, Succubus, and Arabesque for all your prompt challenges! Comment with more prompts, and I will write a filthy poem about it.

Prompt: bread pudding

“I made bread pudding!” Loki said.  
“It’s halfway pudding; halfway bread.”  
The guests all had a second plate;  
They all agreed that it was great.  
Alas for Tony, there’s none left,  
But pudding-less, he’s not bereft.  
Thought Tony, “Well, it’s not a loss.  
I’ve already tried  
The special sauce...”

. . .

mpreg interlude

“I’ll have that drink,” he said and smiled.  
Hup! Whoomph! Splut!  
Now he’s with child.

. . .

Prompt: permanent markers

Tony Stark went to the store;  
He thought that he should draw some more.  
Pencils, markers, paper, pen,  
Brought home, then he went out again.  
Upon returning, Tony’s eyes  
Were met with quite a rude surprise.  
“Loki, Loki, Loki, no!  
That isn’t where the Sharpies go!”

. . .

Prompt: goggles

Tony and Loki went for a day  
At a lovely beach where the dolphins play.  
But they got banned  
From that bit of shore  
For wearing goggles  
And nothing more.

. . .

Prompt: mobile phones

It wanders, bumping into things,  
It stops and startles when it rings.  
It hitched a ride on Tony’s drone.  
It clambered up on Loki’s clone.  
Cried Tony, when they were alone:  
That’s not what I meant by “mobile phone!”

. . .

Prompt: cigarettes

Tony had a problem. He smoked a pack a day.  
Loki didn’t like it and he knew just what to say.  
“Instead of cigarillos,” he said with poise and grace,  
“I’ve got something smoking hot to put inside your face.”

. . .

Prompt: teddy bear

“I just did as you told me!”  
He huffed, deep inside the stuffed deer.  
“When you said I should sleep with your stuffed animals,  
You should have been more clear!”

. . .

Prompt: teddy bear, part 2:

The second time, however,  
Was harder to deny.  
Tony watched in silence  
As he made the stuffing fly.  
Finally he coughed. “Really, Loki?”  
“But of course.”  
And Loki stared and smiled and demolished the stuffed horse.

. . .

Prompt: fans

“I’m your biggest fan,” Tony murmured in his ear.  
Loki smiled, innocent, and Tony felt...queer.  
His arms transformed to metal blades, a motor clicked and clacked.  
And Tony whooshed and whirred: “Goddammit, Loki, change me baaaaack”

. . .

Prompt: pillow

You’re making sweet, romantic love,  
Your bodies do entangle.  
You shove a pillow underneath to get a better angle.  
And now the deed is done; fast asleep he falls.  
You lie awake, wondering, does this pillow smell like balls?

. . .

Prompt: garlic bread

“No, Loki! You’re a fucking nutter.  
I don’t want your ‘garlic bread with special butter.’  
You can’t fool me.  
I know your trick.  
The secret ingredient  
Is always dick.”

. . .

Prompt: bath bomb

Bath bombs were a romantic gift,  
He read it on the news.  
He even made them on his own  
As best as he could do.  
Bath bombs were a romantic gift,  
He read it on Buzzfeed.  
He really felt quite certain; the bomb squad disagreed.

. . .

Prompt: bath bomb, part 2

Loki made a bath bomb, which he begged Tony to use.  
Tony felt suspicious, but he had nothing to lose.  
It tingled first  
And then got worse  
And shocked his arms and legs  
It zapped his cock  
He giggled “Stop!”  
And Loki smiled. “Beg.”

. . .

Bonus: Sung to the tune of ‘My Favorite Things’ from The Sound of Music:

Loki and Tony and spanking and bitchslaps.  
Testing new spells and then sex magic mishaps.  
Both of our heroes all tied up with strings:  
These are a few of my favorite things. 

Premature coming and creampies and facials.  
Supportive boyfriends and kink that is playful.  
Sucking him off in a throne like a king:  
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the film bites;  
When they all die;  
When I’m feeling sad,  
I simply remember my favorite things  
And then I don’t feel  
So baaaad!


End file.
